The Feminist Breeder

The Big, Hairy Vaccination Post and My Visit to GlaxoSmithKline

In case you're just tuning in, GlaxoSmithKline invited TFB and some other (what they call) "Social Media Influencers" to their vaccination production facility in Marietta PA last week.  They took care of our flights, meals, and hotel, and treated us with mucho respect as they gave us insight into their business.  I know you're wondering why they would do this, and that's a valid question.  I can imagine some people equating this to the "Nestle Family" blogger scandal, but the two are nothing alike and I'll tell you why.  We all went because it was educational, because it was a good opportunity to see some other bloggers and see how they felt about this issue, and because the general public never gets invited into these buildings so it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.  They were not giving us free goodie bags filled with their products, and they are not splashing us around their advertising in an effort to use our brand to promote their brand - unlike the Nestle Corporation.  I owe GlaxoSmithKline nothing for this trip - not even a nice review.

So why were we invited then?  As I understand it, pharmaceutical companies are intensely regulated about what they can say to consumers, whereas the people who tend to argue against vaccinations are hardly regulated at all.  Because of this, GSK wanted to bring in a few consumers (who happen to have a voice) to share the way GSK feels about the vaccination debate (in the most benign, can't-get-sued way.).  That's my assessment of the situation.  Their lawyers had their lips locked pretty tight, too. They would not allow them to mention the name of any product they make (so we had to deduce) and we were not allowed to take any pictures on the property (fair enough.)

They hosted us for a little over 4 hours, the first 2 hours being a presentation about the benefits of vaccinations.  In this presentation, we were given information about how vaccinations are developed, manufactured, tested, and finally released to the public.  We were also shown some graphic images of the effects of various diseases, and given statistics about the rates at which these diseases had been eradicated since the introduction of the vaccination.  For example: in what they call the "Pre-Vaccination Era" there were an estimated 16,316 cases of Polio annually*.  Since the introduction of vaccinations, 0 cases.  I think we can all agree that's a huge step forward for humanity, and given those kind of statistics it's not hard to see why the employees of GSK are so proud of the vaccinations they develop and distribute. 

But having said that, I couldn't let those statistics go without asking some tough questions.  I asked them if they had any data on hand to show the number of cases of Autism in the Pre-Vaccination Era vs. Today.  They did not.  I also asked them what they could tell me about Thimerosal and why it was still being used in some vaccinations given what some science suggests about it.  They said that the manufacturers have removed Thimerosal from most vaccinations, but not because they believed any of the science that suggests it's harmful.  They say they removed it because of the public concern, and they'd rather not have people avoiding their vaccinations just because they think there's something harmful in them.  I don't necessarily believe that, but it sounds like a fair enough answer. I also wanted to know what they thought of the health care professionals who are publicly condemning the new H1N1 shot, but GSK claimed no knowledge of such incidents. To be fair, I do think they were bound by legalities that prevented them from discussing the issue with me further. 

The second 2 hours of the visit was the tour of the facility itself.  If you've ever watch that show "How It's Made" you'd think was pretty cool.  To enter the packaging room, we had to dress head to toe in clean room clothes (<---we looked something like that) and it was quite amusing. This was the part where we were really bummed that we couldn't take pictures of ourselves dressed in this garb.  After watching the dozens of steps these little vials go through before they can be shipped, I can honestly say that GSK takes quality control with the utmost seriousness.  They said over and over, public safety is their highest concern.  I was actually very refreshing to see a team of people (scientists/pediatricians/professionals) taking such pride in their product, and showing such great concerned about the people who will ultimately be receiving these drugs.

That was the gist of those 4 hours, so let's talk now about how I feel about the vaccination debate itself.

I rarely, if ever, bring up the topic of vaccinations on my blog.  For starters, I don't have much fiery passion about the them, and secondly, I'm just not as educated about debate as I am other debates.  I can point you toward absolute science that proves unnecessary cesareans are dangerous, and that breastfeeding is the best way to feed baby.  I don't think there's much to argue about there (although the uneducated masses sure find ways to). 

But when it comes to vaccinations, there is a lot of science, and a lot of questions, and a lot of smart people cannot agree at all on which side to listen to.  So many health professionals disagree with which vaccinations are truly necessary, and which may have adverse effects on a certain population.  I can see both sides of the issue.  I understand why we should vaccinate, and I understand why some people refuse to.  Given that there is some room for debate in this area, I don't feel comfortable making a judgment call on it.  I do what I do and hope for the best.

I, personally, do believe that vaccinations have saved many lives and have completely eradicated some horrifying illnesses.  I think even the most hardcore anti-vax'er would agree with that.  And yes, it does scare me when I see an epidemic of people not vaccinating because I do think it is a public health issue.  Some other family's decision can have a direct impact on my family, and that's concerning, to say the least.  I will unabashedly say that I was quite upset 2 years ago when I was freshly pregnant with my second son, and there was a chicken pox outbreak at my first son's daycare.  Jonas had been vaccinated so I wasn't worried about him coming down with it, but I WAS worried about him carrying it home.  I never had chicken pox, and if I was infected that could have proved lethal for my unborn child.  I was a hysterical mess trying to figure out what I could do to keep from catching it and keep my fetus safe.  As it turned out, one of those millions of tests the doctor runs on you when you first show up pregnant is to test to see if you have immunity to the Varicella virus (because it is such a huge problem for pregnant women), and luckily the test showed I was safe.  I must have been exposed at some point in my life without knowing and developed an immunity.  My family tells the story of how I had chicken pox in my throat (but nowhere else) when I was a baby, but I never really believed it. However, the fact that I even had to worry about this potentially hurting my child made me very angry.  People think of Chicken pox as being such a harmless little external rash, but it's not so harmless if it severely cripples or kills an unborn child.

Having said all of that, I do not think that the lives saved are a free pass for pharmaceutical companies to do whatever they want.  When I spoke with a friend about this (who has an Autistic son and therefore no longer vaccinates her children) she brought up a very good point.  Pediatric health experts advise us to give only breastmilk and no other substance to a child less than 6 months of age.  Furthermore, when we do introduce the pees and carrots, we are instructed to introduce one at a time for fear that there could be some life-threatening allergic reaction, and we need to know exactly which one caused it.  Yet at the same time, some of the same experts advise pumping dozens of vaccinations (consisting of formaldehyde, egg protien, Thimerosal, monkey kidney tissue, and a myriad of other ingredients) into babies just an hour/a week/a month old?  That seems counter-intuitive to me.  But I'm no microbiologist.  Most of us aren't.  Of course, that's never prevented me from looking at evidence based information and making my own decision about something.  I just wish the experts could get on the same page so we don't all have to do their job for them.

From what I can gather about the debate, it's not that anti-vax community loves Polio and want their children to have it.  I'm pretty sure they realize what a devastating illness that is.  I think that the main issue anti-vax'ers (or even just skeptical vax'ers) have is with the number of vaccinations, the timing of them, and the ingredients of them.  If we can protect ourselves from plagues SAFELY - without causing autism, and without any adverse side effects - then we all win.... right? 

I dunno, you tell me.

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I'm asking you all to pretty-please be respectful in your commenting, and don't rag on me because I may or may not think any one thing about vaccinations.  I'm just not in the mood this week and your comment will never see the light of day.  But if you have something respectful, thoughtful, and/or informed to add to this discussion then I/we cannot wait to hear it.  Comment away!

The Feminist Breeder Goes to Philly

Like I mentioned last week, I'm headed out to the Philadelphia area to visit a vaccination production facility. (yes, GlaxoSmithKline did come through with the plane tickets and hotel room, so I'm really going.)

Now here's where you come in. I'm sure I'm not the only inquiring mind around these parts, so comment back with any questions YOU would have if you were going, and I'll add that to my research.

And if you live in Philly (I'm talking to you girl-friend, and others) then let me know if we can work out dinner or breakfast or something.  I'm flying in on Thursday late afternoon, spending all day Friday either at this plant or commuting to/fro - then I'm flying straight out Friday evening.

I won't have a ton of time there, but the nice 30 hour break from my toddlers is well-timed.  Jonas (the 3 yr old) peed all over my freshly-cleaned floor yesterday about 2 minutes after he got off the potty and Julesy (the 16 mo. old) has taken to screaming bloody murder every single time I sit down (apparently I'm not allowed anymore.)

I can't wait to see how the hyphenated husband handles the two for the day while I'm gone.  If it's anything like the way he handles them when I sleep in on Saturdays, then the entire house will be ripped apart, he'll forget to feed them, and he'll be trying to put them down for a nap 20 minutes after they wake up.  Of course, he's already recruited his mother to take care of the kids while he stays outside doing yard work so at least I know THEY will be taken care of.  Lately I've been wondering why I even think he's such a great dad.  He's really been pissing me off.  He comes home from work a half hour late every day and then sits on Facebook while I try not to stick my head in the oven.  That's where he was yesterday while I was making dinner and watching my toddler piss all over my clean floor.  This isn't what I signed up for when we agreed that I'd stay home.  I'm not Suzy Freaking Homemaker.  And all I can do is bitch and yell about it, but that does no good. 

So yeah... I'll go to Philly.  And maybe I won't come back. 

It's Possible That I'm Being Punk'd

So I’ve been invited to fly out to Philadelphia next week, courtesy of GlaxoSmithKline, to tour their vaccination facility. The trip is unbelievably terrible timing seeing as I have 5 (yes FIVE) cakes due the day after I come back, and two classes that will need to be skipped, making my professors none too happy.

Going could not be any more inconvenient or impossible.  But I’m trying to make it possible.  I think it will be hugely educational (how often does one get to visit a major pharmaceutical facility anyway?) and the fact that it’s fully paid for by them means I have no real financial excuse to skip it.

Plus, some of the cool kids will be there. 

They’ve invited a small group of “influential” mom bloggers (don’t ask me how I’m included in that), which means I’ll finally get to meet some of these gals you see banging around the interwebs.  It looks like Pundit Mom is making an appearance, as well as Kristen Chase.  Kristen is the person that inspired me to take The Feminist Breeder to the streets after I discovered her through a Podcast wayyyyy back in 2007.  I’m pretty sure she hates me ever since I called her white (oh, wait until she sees how white I am! The husband says I glow in the dark!) but maybe she’ll forgive me if I bring her a pair of high-heeled Crocs.  Isn't the gift of Crocs the universal way of saying "Sorry I was being a cunt that day"?

They haven’t sent me the plane tickets yet so we’ll see if this thing really pans out.  I’ll be skeptical until I’m actually sitting on the runway.  It almost feels like all the head cheerleaders devised a plan to invite me to the prom, only to have me show up at an empty warehouse while they lay waiting in the bushes, filming the whole thing as a YouTube prank.

Oh, there goes my self-loathing narcissism again.  I doubt the head cheerleaders even care enough about me to play a prank.

Anyhoo, if there really is a vaccination facility in Pennsylvania, and I'm really on the guest list, then I’ll write all about the experience – don’t you worry.

The Best Souvenirs I've Ever Come Home With

Two years ago, my family of three went on vacation, and came home with this –

 

Well, he didn’t look like that at the time.  He was a blastocyte that would eventually become this smiley, beautiful little boy. But sure enough, his life began on that trip to Mexico and the Caribbean.

Two years later, my family of four went on another Mexican vacation and came home with this –

I absolutely love this simple piece.  As soon as I saw it, it made me think of my nursling and my ankle-biting toddler – one constantly cradled at my breast, and the other reaching for me from his place at my feet.  The husband isn’t one to spend money on things like this, but he also fell in love with it as soon as he saw it. He said it looked like me.  And it made him smile.

Now I look off into the future and wonder what my next “souvenir” will look like, or when I’ll bring it home.   What are your favorite/most important souvenirs?

Wordless Wednesday

Hasta La Vista

Tomorrow my family embarks on a much needed 7-day retreat to an all-inclusive resort in the Riviera Maya.  Thanks to the Swine Flu, Mexican resorts were handing out deep discounts to keep business coming in, so we lucked out big time and were able to book a dream vacation for less than the cost of driving up to the Wisconsin Dells.  Score.

As penny-pinching as we are, I’m the type of person who needs vacations and getaways to function.  If I go too long without going somewhere, I start to feel depressed and suffocated.  It’s the gypsy in me.  We nomadic types have to stay on the move.  So instead, we sacrificed lots of other little summer activities in an effort to scrimp and save for this one week in Paradise.

Of course as excited as I am about our trip, there is a part of me that will always remain agoraphobic in a sense too.  One half of me thirsts for adventure, and if there’s a way to drag my family half way across the world for a few moments of fun, by gawd I will find it.  But there’s another part of me that fears all the risks involved in travel too, and might just rather vacation in the comfort of my own bedroom.  So what is keeping me awake tonight?  Here are some concerns:

• Flying in a metal bird that could fall out of the sky at a moment’s notice.
• Driving the rental car in Mexico where some sketchy Policia might use any excuse to pull over a gringa and extort the wedding rings off her finger*
• Staying in a resort 15 yards from the Caribbean Sea smack dab in the middle of Hurricane season
• Reliving the movie “Born in East L.A.” when my Latino husband and his mother get detained by Mexican customs agents for looking a little too native
• One word: Sharks.

Notice that I’m not worried about how to wrangle the two small children on the plane, one of which we did not purchase a ticket for because he’s Under Two, and we’re cheap.  I’m not worried about getting Montezuma’s revenge, or about losing my luggage.  Though the potential for disaster exists there, I feel confident in my ability to address and handle those situations.  I’m pretty good at wrangling these two children all by myself, and on this trip I’ll have both the husband and his mom there to help me. 3 against 2; I like those odds.  I’ve done all the necessary research on how to avoid getting sick down there, and we’re staying at a 4 star resort where the food gets incredible reviews, so that doesn’t frighten me.  And I’ve lost my luggage internationally before – on a trip to England where my bandmate and I were doing live interviews on British television, so obviously clothes were of a high priority – and I survived all that.  Heck, all I need in Mexico is a swimsuit and a few covers and I can last the week.  No Big Deal.

But the planes crashing, hurricanes twisting, and Policia extorting are the things that keep me just on the edge of anxiety.  So I’m trying to let all that go tonight, breathe deep, and tell myself that the universe is going to cooperate with me on this trip.  Please everyone, throw all your good travel energy in my direction, and I’ll see ya’ll in a week.  I’ll have little access to voice/data services while I’m there, but I will be live Tweeting our travels as Wi-Fi coverage allows.

Mexico, here we come!

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*before you go thinking that's even the tiniest bit racist (because I just know someone is bound to take that out of context) is has been very well documented that those activities do go on, and every travel board or car rental agency has information on how to protect oneself from it.  So please don't clutter up my comments with ridiculous rants while I'm gone - I married a Mexican.  The rest of it is just supposed to be funny.  Enough said.

Blogging for the Sake of Blogging

I try not to blog unless I really have something to talk about.  For a very long time, all it took was an article on cesareans or breastfeeding to get me in the mood to write.  These days, while those things are still hugely important to me, I seriously have bigger fish to fry, and I’m kind of tired of complaining about my current life situation here (there, and everywhere.)  So, I haven’t been writing much of anything.  I was hoping something awesomely fun would come along and I’d have something really positive to share, but I’m kinda coming up empty handed at the moment.

I also think that Twitter has impaired my ability to write more than 140 characters at a time.  Or maybe I figure that anything that needs to be said has already been said on Twitter, so why rehash it in a blog?

Either way, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, I have to talk about my life for a little while.  I pay $9 a month for this blog to be my arena for catharsis, so I oughtta use it.

I’ve been feeling especially stressed out lately.  Actually, I’m feeling kind of strung out.  I vibrate with anxiety all day long.  I don’t sleep.  Concentration is almost impossible.  The slightest lip out of another adult makes me want to punch them in the esophagus.   Of course, as usual, the only thing in the world that makes me really happy are my children.  No matter how shitty I feel, just one glimpse of them lights up my heart.  I’d rather hear them screaming at each other than sit in my quiet office under the weight of unfinished projects.  And when I’m working at home on my cakes, I’m so much happier than I am sitting in an office, because at least at home, I can peak in on my little ones anytime I want to.

During the day, I self-medicate with espresso.  Somehow a $4 coffee I can’t afford takes the edge off ever so slightly.  It seems strange that a stimulant would do that, but I suppose it has the same effect smoking does – makes you feel a little better momentarily while simultaneously raising your blood pressure.  I guess that’s why I used to love smoking so much.  It was my “chill-out” tool.  I detest smoking now, so these days I just drink twice the coffee.

We’re going to the Riviera Maya in 3.5 weeks, and I have never needed a vacation so badly in my life.  I fantasize every day about the 7 days in paradise that will (hopefully) help me forget about my life-at-a-crossroads situation temporarily.  John and I have both been working two jobs to help pay for this trip, and it's well deserved. 

I know that life won’t always be like this, but sometimes when you’re in the thick of things, it all seems so heavy and hopeless.  There are just too many more years of school/work left before I get where I want to be, and I’ve never, ever been the kind of person that can just be content with where I’m at.  That’s not how I’m wired.  If I was content, then I’d never bother to do the extremely hard work it takes to change my destiny from the Poor-White-Trailer-trash I grew up, to the Make-a-Difference-in-the-World attorney I long to become.  I can’t be content when there’s more work to be done.  I was born into poverty, but I will not die in it.  I will not.  So I press on, reaching for the brass ring, and never settling for less than what I know I can become.  My kids deserve better than what I had, and I have to give it to them.

Of course there’s a part of me that thinks a little Zoloft couldn’t hurt the situation.  But then there’s this largely Type-A part of me that thinks medication is the easy way out, and I shouldn’t have to be medicated to put up with my life.*  I also have my own personal issues with any sort of support of the big pharm companies (and the medical profession in general) so I just can’t go there.  Add that to the problems that Julesy had with his weight gain when I was taking the Zoloft, and it puts me off the whole idea of ingesting chemicals, especially while breastfeeding.  There just has to be a better way.  I don’t know what that way is yet, but it has to be there somewhere.  People didn’t always have Zoloft to save them from life’s little hurdles.

So, I’m chugging along.  But I’m not doing my best.  I’m too distracted, to anxious, and too irritable to be operating at 100% capacity.

But I really, really promise, when I come back from Mexico, I will have at least one really happy post.  A little bit of sand in my toes and I’ll be good-as-new, at least for a couple of days.  Mama needs a "Reset" button in the form of a Mexican cocktail.

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*Seriously, I’m talking about myself, and so before you write some long comment on how offended you are that I don’t dig prescription meds, just don’t.  Save yourself the trouble because I am not in the mood for anybody’s shit this week and I will delete that comment before you have a chance to refresh your screen.  I am not talking about your choice to be medicated, I’m talking about mine, so don’t internalize this.

We're Going to Disneyland!

Mama needs a vacation. Bad.

We haven't been on vacation since the vacation where we concieved Jules.  He's about to be a year old, so that should illustrate how long it's been.  I've been begging the husband to consider a vacation this summer, as it would be considerably cheaper than admitting me to rehab.  But the husband is a penny pincher.  Not that I'm not extremely frugal - I can usually spin gold out of discarded toothpicks and I have a gift for bargain hunting - but I do like to enjoy myself every once in awhile too.  One cannot live on 18 hour work days and Tuna Helper alone.

So when the husband got a referreeing gig bringing in an extra $160 a week for 9 weeks (on top of his normal salary) I said "There it is! That's our vacation money!"  I know we could use that money to pay down some more credit card debt, but right now having a week alone with my family without work/school to stress me out is higher on my priority list. 

It didn't take much convincing before we agreed to start vacation shopping, and before long we had it narrowed down to Busch Gardens in Tampa.  We'd both love to see Busch Gardens - I've been there - and we know Jonas would love it given his current obsession with anything animal-related.  I also get discounted tickets through my company.  The thing is: We Hate Florida.  Hate it.  No, hate is not a strong enough word.  Florida is the gate to hell.  It is the vortex of ignorance.  I lived there when I was a kid, and most of my superbly white-trash family still lives there, along with my absent mother whose terminal insanity would only be allowed out in public by a state like Florida.  Then I watch the show "Kath & Kim" and I think "it would be funny, but it's all too true."  Sorry to all those Floridians I have undoubtedly offended, but seriously ya'll - you must know.

So, as much as we liked the idea of Busch Gardens, about halfway through the day I asked the Huz to consider California for a vacation instead.  We both have good friends in LA we need to see, and I want to take Jonas to Disneyland and maybe SeaWorld.  And again, I get discounted passes through my company so it would be cheaper than expected.  Once he agreed, I rushed back to my desk and found cheap flights.  I IM'd Huz the results and I assumed he would tell me to wait to book the flights (wait for what?  I never know, but there's always some reason he's hesitant to let me book things.) But to my surprise he wrote back "Do it! I trust you."

So we are now going on a week-long vacation in July, and I'm so excited I could barely sleep last night.  I think I'm actually more excited that the Huz let me book a vacation without making me beg, scream, or threaten him into it first.  He's always eventually happy with the things I do, but for some reason, always - ALWAYS resistent in the beginning.  It's hard to explain, but he insists on making everything harder than it has to be.  For example: I wanted an entertainment center 2 years ago.  Jonas was crawling and I didn't want him to be pulling on the exposed wires coming out of the back of the TV.  So I picked out an entertainment center that would house everything up nicely.  John resisted.  He fought.  He didn't want to spend the money.  But I big, fat, did it anyway (because I know him) and not 2 weeks later he sat staring at the entertainment center saying "that's really so cool, I'm so glad WE got it." - like it was his idea all along.  I coulda strangled him.  Anyway, the point is, he does this with every single purchase we make, so being able to book a vacation to California with his blessing was just the single most merry-making thing that's happened in our relationship in quite some time.

I think he might be growing.  California, here we come!

Come Sail Away With Me (and my huz, and my baby.)

In just 50 short days, we're going on our very first cruise! 

I always thought cruises were semi-lame, but my aunt is a cruising expert (20+ under her belt) and she has finally convinced me that we will love it.

We're heading to Florida on August 24th to spend a couple days with family.  Then we're driving to Tampa on August 27th and embarking on 5 full days of island fun! First stop is Grand Cayman where we can swim with Stingrays (insert Eddie Izzard saying "Noht a good idea!" Then we go to Cozumel, which was named by Jacque Cousteau to have the world's best snorkeling. Yippee!!!  If we love this cruise, then I'm booking us on a European cruise next year.  Who wants to go with?!?!?

Yay for Trips!

I decided that I'm sick and tired of people inviting me places and me never going.  Both Kathryn and my dad have been begging (more like harrassing) me to come visit, so today I booked the flights.
Since they both live in Pennsylvania (albeit 4 hours apart) I decided to kill two birds with one trip.  First we'll fly into Pittsburgh on Thursday 3/23 and spend two days celebrating Kathryn's D-Day with her.  Then we'll drive 4 hours to York, PA to hang out with my dad for two days.  Then, we'll leave from Baltimore (the closest airport to him) on Monday 3/27.  Since this is the last time I'll probably ever be able to fly without a kid hanging off me, I'm very excited.
Yay for Trips!

Parisian Jail might not be so bad.

I almost saw the inside of one yesterday, all because of two totally psychotic U.S. Airways flight attendant bitches.

U.S. Airways sucks, and they have no business in the "friendly" skies. Let me tell you why.

We showed up to Charles de Gualle airport hours early for our flight, just to find the U.S. Airways ticket counter so backed up that the line stretched half way across the airport. I don't know what when wrong, but it made our entire flight delayed; that's how long we were standing in line.

So we finally get to the ticket counter, and they fucked up our seats so John and I would end up sitting 8 rows away from each other for the 9 hour flight. I explained to the woman that our tickets had us seated together and she said not to worry because "the people upstairs" will fix it. Now listen here. I'm pregnant, extremely nauseated on airplanes, and constantly needing to get up for the bathroom. I'm NOT sitting next to a total stranger on a cramped, shitty little U.S. Airways plane for 9 effing hours. I need my soon-to-be-husband next to me through my sickness and discomfort.

Okay, so we get upstairs only to be rushed through security and directly onto the plane because, like I said, that's how bad U.S. Airways had fucked up. The whole flight was taking off late because of the ticket counter problems they were having.

So I asked somebody at the gate to fix our seat and she passed the buck onto the flight attendants. So when I got on the airplane, I tried to ask the flight attendant to help me and she got totally shitty and said "if they didn't help you, I'm not helping you either." So this is where I started to lose it. I walked away and said something to the effect of "this airline sucks" and this bitch grabbed me by the arm and tried to throw me off the plane. So I turned around and kept walking to my seat.

I get down to John's seat and I try to start putting my shoes on (they rushed us through so quickly I still hadn't put my shoes back on since the security checkpoint). I'm bitching to John about how totally unaccomodating the airline has been and some other stupid bitch overhears me and comes up yelling in my face and trying to grab our plane tickets out of John's hand! She was totally causing a scene and acting like a lunatic, but has the fucking nerve to try to act like I'm the one assualting her.

So, I got her to shut up long enough to explain that I'm pregnant, tired, and not about to listen to her bullshit. Well, the minute I said I was pregnant, her face changed. THEN, she started trying to act like she had come to the back of the plane to try to HELP me, and that I had attacked her. What a fucking psycho. She still kept causing a scene and trying to rip the tickets out of John's hand.

So, John, being the mediator that he is, finally got her to give us two seats together and to leave us alone. Then later, when he decided that he wanted to contact the airline to talk about how badly they had treated me, he tried to get the first flight attendants name. The dumb bitch refused to give it to him. REFUSED! Maybe because she knew she had acted like a total cunt? Yes, probably.

Let me just say, for the record, that these two bitches were AMERICAN. The only people that were rude to us in France were AMERICAN.

So anyway, besides the totally shitty airplanes and the pilots who don't even know what kind of plane they're flying (that's a whole separate story), U.S. Airways will NEVER see our business again, if only for the psychotic flight attendants they hire.

I swear, if the thought of missing my wedding and/or John missing work hadn't come into my mind while that stupid bitch was yelling at me, I would have knocked her the fuck out. But, I'm sure that would have landed me in a French prison, and I just don't have any time for that nonsense now.

DO NOT mess with a pregnant woman. She is very, very likely to open a big can of Wupp Ass on you.

Paris Trip - Day 6

Today is our last full day in Paris, and truthfully I'm ready to go home. Being pregnant is fucking exhausting and I've done enough walking around and cultural absorbtion to last me quite awhile.

On day 3: We saw the Mona Lisa and the Venus De Milo. Pretty effing cool. I really wanted a picture of the Mona Lisa but there was no way I was gettin' one. They have a guard standing there to make sure you don't snap any shots or get within 10 feet of it. Let's see, then we went up to the top of the eiffel tower and then walked around a bunch more.

One day 4: We went to Bruxelles for the day. It was fucking awesome. Those people are reallllly serious about their chocolate and their waffles. There is a chocolate shop on every single block, sometimes two or three. And there are vendors on the street selling waffles that are so good they make you want to cry. Also, it's surprisingly American-ish. Everybody speaks English and most things are written in English. We even went and saw an American movie (The Family Stone) when we wanted to get out of the cold. They listen almost exclusively to American music, and there's a really rich Gen X culture there. The city itself is breathtaking as well. It's older than water and some of the buildings are just unbelievably gorgeous, especially in the Grand Place (or the city square). All the walking around in the cold really wore me out though, and by the time we got back to Paris I was inconsolably exhausted.

On day 5: We slept and slept. Then we got up, saw Notre Dame, had some weird Italian food from the Parisian version of Olive Garden. I was miserably cold and exhausted, so we came back to the hotel and were asleep by 5 p.m.

On day 6: We got up early, got breakfast, then relaxed some more. Being pregnant seriously saps my energy. Then we went to Versailles and saw the Chateau and the Gardens, which was amazing. Then we had the most amazing lunch we've had since we've been here, which is saying alot because everything we've eaten has been off the charts. Also, our servers were so freaking nice and helpful to us that I really cannot believe why people think Parisians are rude. The service we've been getting makes Chicago waiters look like assholes. Then we did some more shopping, and I decided to let John keep shopping while I came back to the hotel and rested. It's the first time we've been out of each other's sight in 7 days. I hope he doesn't get lost. He's not picking up the language as easily as I am.

Tonight, we'll have our last dinner in Paris, and then tomorrow we make the long, 16 hour journey, back to Chicago. It's been a wonderful trip. I think it's exactly what we needed. But, I'll be happy to get home. I miss the Blue Dog, my new home, and my new car.

Paris Trip - Day 3

I want to document this now because I'm sure I'll be too overwhelmed by the time we get home.

It is the morning of our third day in Paris. We are getting ready to head downstairs to breakfast.

Here are a few things I've learned/discovered so far:

1. Their Metro (or L) system puts ours to shame. You can literally get EVERYWHERE and FAST with theirs. Ours totally sucks in comparison. Our hotel is 20 steps from the Pernety stop, which will take us directly to the Louvre (or anywhere else we want to go) in a matter of minutes.

2. You've never had a croissant until you've had one in Paris. These people aren't fucking around with their pastries. And there's a Patisserie (bakery) every 15 feet. Most of them are open air and you just walk up to the counter (which is right on the street) and order a baguette or tart, and keep walking. It's cheap and the perfect lunch.

3. The myth about the Parisians being rude is, so far, just that. A myth. As long as you know how to act right, they treat you very kindly. I think that trying to speak the language helps out ALOT. When I can't understand them, I just say so, IN FRENCH, and they usually immediately offer English instead. I think they appreciate the effort, and I also think they think it's kinda cute. I know I think it's cute when a foreigner in America is struggling with the language. We are being very polite saying please and thank you and hello and goodbye, and they are responding very warmly. I think that the people who find Parisians rude are the same ignorant rednecks who find any big-city dwellers rude.

4. Sex is really no big deal to Parisians. After 11 p.m., one of their stations turns into hardcore XXX porno. I'm talking serious ass-fucking porn. Right there on regular television, like their NBC or something. And the women sure are hairy, but NOT on their legs ;)

Gotta go eat my AWESOME Parisian breakfast now. I'm going to try to document things every other day or so.

au revoir. gina

Au Revoir!

partir de ce moment dorénavant, et pour les 8 jours suivants, je ne parlerai rien mais French!

Goodbye! Bonne chance par nouvelle année! Et nous vous reverrons tout dans un week.

Love, Gina

Flying with Scissors

Airport Security is a joke.  I actually boarded our flight to Ft. Myers with scissors in my carry-on bag.  Yes, very sharp, very lethal, scissors.  I didn't do it on purpose, I forgot they were in my bag. I carry them in the Big-Ass-Wedding-Binder® to cut wedding ideas out of magazines.  Anyway, by the time I realized they were in there we were about to board the plane.  How could security NOT notice scissors in my bag?  The whole thing makes me very uncomfortable.  Now I wonder if my fellow passenger could be carrying a switchblade.  Great.

The trip, all in all, was great though.  We stayed at John's parents condo.  By some odd coincedence, John's parents have a condo just a few miles from where my family lives.  We have alot of odd coincidences like that, and I'm actually surprised that we never met before.  John's Godparents also live down there too.

I got to see alot of my family, and we got to go to dinner with John's Godparents who are everything Godparents should be, and more.  They are thrilled about our wedding, and they went on and on about it.  His Godfather actually teared up a little when they gave us our engagement gift.  It was very touching.

Now, if you know me at all, you know how I feel about kids.  They freak me out.  John and I want kids someday, but we don't really know anybody with any babies, so we're never around them.  However, pretty much all my twenty-something female relatives have babies down there, so we got alot of kid-exposure the past few days.  It was fucking great.  I don't know if I'm getting older or if those kids were just the coolest ones I've ever met, but I could not get enough of them.  Especially my cousins baby, Natalie.  She is, by far, the most adorable baby I have ever laid eyes on.  She went everywhere with us.  We took her to dinner, and shopping, and riding around in our rented convertible.  She giggled and made cute faces and flirted with John.  Nearly every picture I took had her in it.  John and I just fell in love with her, and we kept threatening to stick her in our suitcase and bring her home with us.  I even bought her clothes and toys.  After the experience, John and I know we want one, and we know that we'll be good at it.

This is Natalie with my grama.......

 
I miss her already.  :(  Well, after my B.A., we'll start considering a family of our own, but until then I'll just have to settle for stealing kisses from my cousin's babies.

Leavin' on a Jet Plane....

But I do know when I'll be back again.  Thursday.

So, if you were planning on inviting me anywhere, calling me, or stopping by to hang out with me, don't bother, I ain't gonna be here.  You may find Chad here though, he's watching the "rugrats" whilst we're in the sunshine state.

On a side note.... did you know that airlines are now offering "web check-in"?  You can check in right from your computer up to 24 hours before your flight departs. These kids and their crazy technology.......

Blue and Beverly get to go to a superfun dog kennel in the suburbs.  They will run and play all day long, and hopefully they'll be fully exhausted by the time we get back.

ALSO........By now, everyone should have received their engagement party invitations.  If you got one, and are coming to the soiree, please let me know.  I know there's no RSVP on it, but I'd still like to get a rough head count because we've decided to have catered food.

Je vais à Paris!

That means... I'm going to Paris!  Yep!

John and I just booked a week long trip to Paris, January 1-8!  I'm so freakin' excited I could just burst!  I've only been to London, and I've been dying to go to more European countries.  John's never been overseas at all.

I lost my passport, so I need to get a new one.

Here's the hotel we're staying at... it rules. 

I can't believe I'm freakin' going to Paris.... I'm like the first person in my entire extended family to leave this country, ya know, since we got here like 300 years ago.  My aunt actually said once "why would you want to go to Europe? Don't you realize our ancestors were trying to escape that place?"  Well, that just shows what living in the suburbs too long will do to your brain.  No culture out there.